Friday, October 9, 2009

Suffering my Loss

I crave others to be around me. I crave a distraction, so that I don't have to think about the loss of another baby. I think I need to cry some more, I need a crutch to hold me, no, more like someone to carry me. I always want to heal very quickly and move on. It's only been a couple of weeks since I lost another baby, and I was assuming I was fine, I was only kidding myself. I've been distracting myself. I've lost 3 babies. I'm afraid to get pregnant again because I don't want to suffer this loss anymore. I do want more babies, but I assume I wont be able to carry them anymore.
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4 comments:

  1. JessicaOctober 10, 2009 at 6:42 AM

    Sarah,
    I am so sorry. I didn't realize that you had suffered the loss of a baby recently...I am terribly sorry!

    I don't want to pretend that I know what that is like...because I don't.

    BUT I do know that God is near to the brokenhearted and HE causes things to happen that are for HIS glory and for our joy. Our perspective is so skewed because we're human so we don't see it as "good" or "joy" in the moment...

    I love you.
    You don't have to heal quickly and move on...God will probably continue to pursue you to allow Him to be your Healer in this matter. Let Him, dear one. =) I know that there are a few key issues in my life (read: struggles) where God kept bringing up really awful things in me and I kept having to go through (what I felt was) utter turmoil. Finally, I heard someone say that God was going to keep prodding me on in this matter until He had complete victory. He wouldn't allow me to hide or sweep things under the rug and not deal with them properly (which ultimately meant submitting the issues to Him).

    Perhaps He is bringing you around this again so that He can show you that He is your Healer and your strength.

    I don't know, perhaps I have said too much.
    Please know that I love you, girlie. =)

    <3 jessica

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  2. DonnaOctober 10, 2009 at 9:08 AM

    Your losses are not insignificant to us nor are they to Christ. We love you deeply.

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  3. AmandaOctober 10, 2009 at 2:34 PM

    i wish i knew what to say to make all the hurt go away...but i don't have any words like that.

    what i can say, and fully believe, is that Jesus is the crutch that will hold you upright. and He feels so far away, and the hurt washes over again and again...praise God that you have the hope of Christ to cling to Sarah.

    and you are never alone. i believe the best way to heal after losing a baby is to talk about it. to tell people, and to keep talking about it. don't ever be ashamed to talk about what has happened to you. there are so many who need to hear that they are not alone either...

    Psalm 139:16 "Your eyes saw my unformed substance; in your book were written, every one of them, the days that were formed for me, when as yet there was none of them."

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  4. ChristyOctober 15, 2009 at 9:30 AM

    I just found your blog, based on a similar interest (Christ) in our profiles. I hope you don't mind me leaving a comment.

    I have suffered two losses. The last being just one week before last Christmas. My heart aches for you, and women alike. Know that you are not alone in your suffering. Praying as you work through your grief.

    This is my favorite verse. It seemed to pop up all over the place, after my last miscarriage, as if little messages being sent to me from the Lord. :0) Praying that you find peace in it's words as I have.

    For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Jeremiah 29:11

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